Wednesday, December 01, 2004


I hate Christmas music.

Well, I don't actually HATE it... I just hate all the stuff they start playing non-stop on the radio the day after Thanksgiving. Being honest, it makes me nauseous. I think I actually DID like Karen Carpenter's "Merry Christmas Darling" once upon a time... and Streisand's first Christmas album is PRIMO... especially considering she's jewish. (Omg... hope that didn't offend anyone!) And I DO love traditional Christmas Carol's, like the ones you sing around the piano.. or at church. But other than that... bleh.

Anyway... about ten years ago I stumbled upon Amy Grant's "Home For Christmas" and basically that's the only thing that has played in my home and car during the holidays ever since like.. 1994. Awesome Christmas Album! We never trimmed the tree without Amy! My kids have pretty much "endured" her for years, and come February they would always roll their eyes and say, "Mom, we think it's time to put Amy away now..." And so I would. **sniff** I love Amy.

My kids have both gone off to college now and this year they will be spending Christmas with their dad. I think this is the first year I won't have them home for the holidays. I also think that during their time away from home they have also better learned the value of money. So, when I asked them each what they wanted for Christmas their lists were pathetically short. But among the few odds and ends necessities... they BOTH (completely apart from the other) added that they wanted the Amy Grant Christmas Album. No lie! And then I realized what this music represented to them.. "Christmas at Home."

But.. I had already bought "Clay" for each of them and felt such a pang in my heart at the thought of how he would probably just be "put away"...

... and not just in February.

And then... a Lightbulb moment! So I went quickly to work and...

Gurrls, I give you... Amy Aiken! The only Christmas Album you will EVER need! Oh.My.God... It's AmAzing!!!

And kind of the equivalent of hiding vegetables in my children's mashed potatoes...

Wednesday, June 30, 2004

The Past... and The Prez...

Archived from LBFCA 2004-06-30

With Clay's long (awaited solo) "thingy" almost upon us, and as we each wait in breathless anticipation for our own turn with it, ahem...him... the tour I mean, oh well, you know... some of us at LBFCA are still pondering the following curiosities…

Will HE, our simple, Freckled Stallion© a.k.a. little Teacozy©… Buttercup©… and Downy Ball©… be able to maintain the genuineness, the sincerity… and the HUMILITY of the boy we all fell in love with Once.Upon.A.Time?

Will HE, while being clamored about by millions of RIPE women from coast to coast (ok… maybe not California…), be able to refrain from getting too overly big headed… and start referring to himself by such titles as Mr. Sugarpants©… MY Royal Hottness©… The Cinnamon Stick©… and (omg) last but not least… The Prez©???

And MOST of all… Will HE remember… where he comes from?…


But then the worries quickly abate as we recall those memorable words of advice spoken by a famous “Mama” some months ago as he was right on the brink… the verge… the EDGE… of his… becoming. And those words were… “Stay grounded… and know where you come from… and remember that last year we drove a 1983 Chevrolet Malibu… and look where we are NOW!!!”

And as you know, Clayton ALWAYS listens to his Mama…

(Oops sorry… wrong Mama… hang on a sec while I go check my notes…)

And while you’re waiting… please feel free to indulge yourselves in a little pictorial, which I’ve entitled… “He Definitely Knows Where He Comes From…”

See?… no memory lapses here.

And still… 99.9% “PURE”.

It’s OBVIOUS he loves that little guy!...

…not only for teaching him all the BASICS learned in Kindergarten…”

(Oooh look! he even wore purply ties back THEN...)

… but for instilling in him a sense of patriotism... and a deep respect for ole' Glory

… along with a “Fashion Sense.”

You think I’m kidding???

HA!… I rest my case…

**Deep Thoughts…

(do you think he wears the diaper pin to remind himself, once again, of where he comes from?..)

And it’s reciprocal!… because the “little guy” loves the “big guy” just as much!

In fact, NOBODY BEFORE has ever come between this boy and his bat…

Or taken the time for a REAL “man to man”…

… like explaining to him that even the most seemingly innocent things might just come back to haunt him someday…

But yes, their times together have been good…

Though not completely lacking in sibling rivalry…

But for the most part it’s all been in good fun…

So there you have it!



An indelible meshing of might, mind and spirit.

Inch by inch by inch… the past meets the Prez…

(Easy boys… EASY. Remember… it’s NOT A COMPETITION…)

It’s just… All…About…Love…

… and coming together…


But we were talking about something else, weren't we???

Something about...a Chevy Malibu, I think…

…and good riddance!… Because SOME things of the past are just well best forgotten.

Time to HIT THE ROAD again Boyz!…


Thanks to:

*ClayNation ~ for providing us with more Clack than we could ever possibly know what to do with…

*Julie ~ for all of her help and suggestions and for selflessly loaning me “The Boyz” for an evening… in the spirit of “research” of course.

*Jill ~ for finding the “fugly baby” pic for me eons ago… and for other things unmentionable...

*My dear friend KC ~ for the diaper pin idea...

*A lovely member of the CBN ~ who was working on a “similar” project simultaneously... unfortunatly for me she was a little bit quicker. Still, witnessing HERS was incredible. It's amazing how we must ALL be of the same might, mind and spirit… kinda sorta?… And besides… "It’s not a competition."...(CA)

*Clay’s Family ~ for these beautiful words of advice and encouragement that sparked this whole idea in the first place…

Sunday, February 29, 2004

A Message From The President...

A Message From The President...

This post appeared very mysteriously on the LBFCA sight on Valentine's Day 2004, which coincidentally was also the day before President's Day that year.

Speculation about the legitimacy of it went on for days. Or what am I saying?... Years.

Dear Lecherous Broads, You have no idea how much I am trying to suppress a giggle as I type those words. I just wanted to drop in for a minute to return the Valentine's Day wishes and to tell you that I will try my hardest to make it a memorable one. I guess you can all take that any way you like. But as they say, "When in Rome..." It's been a wild year and one made even wilder with fans such as yourselves at my back. I want you to know that I have appreciated your humor on the occasions I've visited this site, which have usually been due to the promptings of friends who saw something they thought was too good for me to miss. But never in my craziest dreams did I ever think I would be the recipient of this brand of attention. By the way, I was just recently informed about the "EF". Good Lord! That was seriously never my intention but I have to be honest and say that it's difficult now to get that term out of my mind when I'm looking into the camera. I hope you haven't all started something I can't finish... Haha, maybe I'm beginning to perfect the fine art of lechery after all. At any rate, keep up the good work on your site and especially on those front pages. They are very, very cool. I appreciate you for your continued love and support and I hope to see you all on tour in the coming months. From the President of the LBFC Fan Club.

***The Broads "Discuss"...

We usually reject the possibility that posts like this really come from Clayton based on errors we know he would never make. Clayton, you know the quotation marks go outside the period. But I will allow for the momentary lapse.

And I do wish you would learn to paragraph properly. Haven't we taught you anything? ~from Linda

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HOW COOL IS THAT!! I am wondering if OMC really wrote that, I am a believer, so I choose to believe! ~from Cha Cha Trusty

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Ok... if fake, good job. If real... *faint* ~from Cella, who is practically speechless

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Ah, how great it is to have such a fantastic boyfriend this Valentine's Day, even if he doesn't know it. And if he does know it and just posted his own little Valentine, let me make this offer:

Clay, you need to learn to make paragraph breaks. Lucky for you , the world's best HTML instructor lives at my house. Now, I know you have some issues with cats, but Odin doesn't know he's a cat, so I think you tow will be just fine. Besides, he idolizes you, so he will be on best behavior. He won't scratch you the way he scratches Nelle. so please come by for some special Valentine's Day HTML lessons. Odin will teach you how to paragraph and how to italicize and how to be bold.

And after he's done, I, self-proclaimed Grammar Queen, will help you with those punctuation problems. I will very gently show you just where to put your punctuation mark within my quotations. Oooh, how I love good grammar.

Happy Valentine's Day, everyone! ~from Katynka (Kat)

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AH'M A BELIEVER! You know I really do believe it could be from him! The rhythm of the words work, the "Good Lord" works, the "haha" instead of LOL works.

It just may be possible and how cool is that? We know he loves us, anyway.


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Awww, we've know for ages that Clay Loves Us!

Darlin, you don't have to post on the PP's for us... not that I'm complaining, but all those other sites are sure to get all jealous. You prove your love for us every time you show up on our TV's and open your mouth and those purdy sounds lift us up and stir our... souls. Today is our day to tell you how much you are loved by us... wait, I guess that's what we do every day!

(Clayton, don't believe shat Katynka is saying about Odin... he's vicious! He might not think he's a cat, but he scratches like one!) ~from Nelle

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Looks like the Aiken Boys thought they'd disobey me and play a little prank on my Broads. I've told them a million times to stay way from my computer without supervision (can't have them wandering off and looking at sites I don't approve of, like or the Claymate mansion... oops, did I just type that out loud?, and if they weren't deserving of spankings already today, they sure as heck are now!

BOYS!! TO MY ROOM!! ~from Julie -- nothin like two paris of rosy cheeks on a cold February day...

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As for the mysterious Clay post... I will take the politician's stance. I am a skeptical delusionist. Call me a Libra. My head says "no" but my heart says..."I'm not sure!"... But I've had stranger and more unexpected things plopped in my lap over the course of a lifetime... and I feel he's always here in spirit anyway. Posting though? I am thinking.. Not likely.

But I did feel the hairs on my arms rise a bit when I noticed the LBFC. In his mind, or ours for that matter, would there be a need for a last name? and where is that radio interview where he mentions us?

But still, unnnnnnnggggghhhhh at the thought. ~from jannet

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I'm going to chime in now on the "Was it really Clay?" issue. All of the previous "Clay" posts have been obvious fakes, but if that one was a fake, it was a ding dang good one! Based on having read and/or listened to many, many interviews with Clay, the content sounded like something he would say, the words themselves sounded like words he would have chosen, and the "rhythm" of the speech was right. I hope you all don't think I'm really gullible, or that I just fell off the turnip truck, but I think it sure as h*ll could be real.

And Clayton, yes, women do find you attractive "in that way." ~from Brenda in Raleigh

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Clay, honey, I hope your Valentine's is as sweet as the post made mine. I'm such a skeptic at heart, but my ol' skeptical heart gave a great big THUMP and took off on a 5 mile sprint after that post. You make me happy every single day, without barely even trying. Everything the well wishing Broads have said before me? Ditto. (tm Ghost)

Happy Lovin' Day, Clay! ~from Jenny-O

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I'm gonna go against my normal skeptical tendencies and pretend that our darling left us a message.

Dear Clay, On this day of love, I just want to remind you how much I love you. You've changed my whole life sweetie! I can't do a single thing without thinking of you. I know you were being polite when you mentioned the other Broads, I know you love me and only me! ~from Kelly... Who is in DIRE need of a Boyfriend... named CLAYTON

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Pulls on blonde wig, struggles into skin tight beaded dress, takes baby steps to microphone... tap... tap... tap...

Happy V-Day to you
Happy V-Day to youuuu
Happy V-Day Mr. Pres-i-dent
Happy V-Day to youuuu...

Now, Mr. President, I have one thing to say to you. Don't ever suppress any urges to giggle, or otherwise, when you drop in to see your Broads. And don't worry either about starting something you can't finish. We've already started without you sweetie, whether or not you finish... no, I can't say it... just in case...

Fruits of an afternoon's research...

Exhibit A: February 2003... post to message board of Michael Orland... uses the words... "hahaha." Weak, but we have a pulse...

Exhibit B: No serious "EF's" in either of two recent performances... SNL or R&K (did I see you blushing?) Stop compressions...

Exhibit C: Makes same mistake twice. Refers to LBFCA as "Lecherous Broads for Clay" in radio interview. Refers to self as "President of LBFC Fan Club. We have sinus rhythm!!!

Oh... and Mr. President... you, too, are entitled to "Executive Level" benefits. ~from Karen Eh?

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Oh year Mr. President of the LBFC... You need to watch out for Katynka and her wild animal... No, I' not talking about Melissa... this time - but speaking of... you better watch out for her too! Who knows what kind of misery she'd put you through if she got ahold of you!

Your grammatic errors only make me love you more... though even I know that the period goes INIDE the quotations.. kinda like the... nevermind. ~from Wendy in FL };->

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Mr. President, you are either Clay Aiken or a VERY good actor, both of which would earn you a big applause from me. At any rate, whichever the case may be, you made a whole lot of us smile. Thanks a lot for dropping in -- and be it true, then please stop by every once in a while and remind the rest of the Internet that you're not embarrassed and ashamed by our antics. He thinks it's cute y'all. He's a scrupled young adult, not a twelve-year-old that needs your protecting. Deal. *happy sigh* ~from Rainbeaux

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Dear President of the LBFC Fan Club,

Whoever you are, I love you! I am choosing to be delusional today; and if you think that's sad - well don't. It makes me happy. And, if on the off chance you are the perfect specimen all of our attention goes to, I have just one teensy little request to make, Darlin. On the Coming Tour would you please be sure to reprise that "full frontal tuck in" which Karen Eh refers to? You see, I'm a very, very foolish Broad; and this will be the first of your concerts I've attended. So, if you could do just this one little thing for me, I'd be most appreciative. ~from OH Cindy

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I too am choosing to be delusional and I believe that he wrote that post. I totally heard his voice in my ear... my head when I read it. *sigh* I do live on Mt. Waldo in the state of Delusion after all.

Clay, you beautiful hunk of a man. Happy Valentine's day! I hope that it is a happy one. I'm married but I'd make a better Valentine than your dog. She is cute though. ~from Michelle VA

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Well, why do I have tears in my eyes? Because I do think that the "President of the LBFC Fan Club" is for real! I agree with other Broads that the words, the tone, the "pace and lilt" ~ even the lack of paragraphs, and of course the "Good Lord" comment of the post all sound solid. (And if someone faked it, then all I can say to you is that you are a mighty good faker -- I salute you -- and come on board with us so we can get to know your better; you obviously care about Clay to make such a sensitive facsimile!

Thank you, "President of the LBFC Fan Club", for acknowledging us and what is in our hearts for you. We now see that you doe understand that the lechery is all in good, innocent fun and I'm glad that you are willing to consider developing a little bit of this fine art.

And, to dear Clay Aiken, whether or not you are the "President," I just want to say that I adore you. You are my "boyfriend #2" after my husband, who introduced me to you and who appreciates you very much also (and who isn't jealous by the way, since you have helped revive our marriage, believe it or not!) And I love you for helping me, by your example, to have the courage to talk to my teen daughter about modesty in dress and choices in music, even though this is counter-cultural and the norm in the pop music world these days seems to be the opposite of those values.

Please stay as wonderful and as value-filled as you are, always! And as for lechery, as I see you on TV, I'll be thinking of you giggling inside when you think of our "EF's" in front of the camera! ~from CA Elizabeth with everlasting love

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Hmmm... I'm probably the most skeptical broad here, considering my math/science background and my membership in an actual organization of skeptics (so what's in pam's email box? Newsletters from America's test kitchen the skeptical inquirer and a Clay Aiken fanclub? - lock her up, boys!

But, I'm still open to the possibility that our "President" posted. My delusional alter ego (mke that alter-libido) truly wants to believe. [I definitely believe he lurks here or I wouldn't give him so many shout-outs] But, Clay, please give us a more definitive sign. Monday on Air, go for a full-on EF, suppress a little giggle, and i'll know you're thinking about us.

Happy Valentine's day to all the Broads, their Brudes, and the man who brings us all together - CLAY AIKEN! ~from pam

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Just wanted to add my two cents worth on the "is it Clay or is it fake?" issue. I have to agree with those who have posted ahead of me... it certainly seems real. the phrasing, vocabulary and style seem "right." Certainly it was written by someone who truly DOES know how to write. Are there Broads on this site who could have done this? Certainly. We have many talented writers here. fanfic writers such as Lisa M., Cella, Julie, etc. could easily pull of a realistic piece like this. They all have written realistic Clay dialogue, just as I have. But, would they? No, they wouldn't. Because it would be a cruel joke to play on all of us. In fact, none of our "regulars" would do this.

So that leaves us with lurkers and trolls. Lurkers, we would hope, lurk here because they like the site, so they would have no reason to pull a hoax like this. "Trolls, are unlikely to do something with would actually cause a happy controversy... they are out to cause trouble, not hysterical giddiness.

Now, even if an anonymous writer came on right now and said that they wrote this as a joke, would I necessarily believe them? No, I wouldn't. They can't prove they wrote it... so we would be back at square one... is it Clay or is it fake? I prefer to believe it is what it appears to be... a wonderful Valentine from our favorite Valentine fantasy. And we can only hope that Clay was able to have as memorable a Valentine's day as he gave us. Happy Valentine's day Clay. With much love ~from Mysterybroad

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That being said, let me just add my Valentine wishes to everyone and most especially Clayton. I'm not sure where I stand on whether that post was really from him or not, but if it was, I DO hope we have not make him too aware and self conscious about the EF's... losing the spontaneity of those would be beyond tragic! ~from jynnan tonnix

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Regarding that letter that is causing the gurrls to wonder about its validity, the first thing I noticed was that the writer used a capital "I." On the MOAM insert, he uses a lower case "i." I thought at first it was a typographical error, but realized that it was deliberate and it troubled me; thus I see this as a glaring error in that post. ~from Loretta

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RE: Our visit from Mr President -- it ain't me, although I accept Mysterybroad's accusation as a sincere compliment! Mwah! Karen eh, your musical tribute was inspired. I see a couple of similarities between our poster & the email forward to PRoC from OMC thru a reliable source after Operation Vanilla. Loretta, I agree about the lower cases, but he used upper cases in MoaM only for God, so might or might not be applicable as evidence here. Bottom line? I choose to believe it could be. He did say he'd be home & lonely on Valentine's Day. HI CLAYTON, HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY. SEE, IT WASN'T NEARLY AS LONELY AS YOU PROBABLY EXPECTED, 'CAUSE YOU'VE GOT YOUR BROADS WITH YA! ~from Lisa M

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Okay, since we're still hashing out this "Did he or didn't he?" thing, I'd just like to share a couple of my favorite parts. I laughed 'til I cried at the "I will try my hardest to make it a memorable one. I guess you can take that any way you like. "(Well, I know how I'd like to take it!) And I thought the "I hope you haven't all started something I can't finish" just sounded so CLAY somehow. So humble, so unaware of the power he possesses. Anyway, Pres, if you aren't Clay Aiken - you're FUN anyhow. ~from OH Cindy

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I am still a believer. I love the "suppress a giggle" part. He did have a very giggly-lookin' smile after singing The Way those last two times on SNL and R&K. I thought so then and still do think so . I remember thinking, "He SO knows what he's doing!" ~from cha cha 'ahm a believer' trusty

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I was rushing around this morning, and got a few minutes to crank up the computer before leaving the house this afternoon. I quickly read through the post from the President of the LBFC Fan Club and thought "Hmmmm. Cute" and ran off. When I came home tonight the pages were full of "is it, isn't it" posts. So I thought "Ha!" and went back to re-read that post. What caught my eye was "I just wanted to drop in for a minute to return the Valentine's day wishes..." and then my head screamed "Main Page! Go look at the Main Page again!!" So I went to the MP ad read it again, and I could just see one of Clay's friends giving him a "ya gotta see this" shout out about it. And I imagined Clay reading that Valentine MP, so beautiful and so heartfelt. It just begged for a response. I got a little teary-eyed. If someone wrote something like that for me I would feel compelled to acknowledge it.

We may never know who authored that post. But if it was Clay, ROBIN and LISA, you did it by cracky! You inspired it with your MP that gave me such a good ache in my heart.

As for me... I choose to believe. and Clay sweetie. I hope desperately that you won't be shy, and bring the EF's back. I would shrivel up if they were no more. ~from Lila

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Hi everyone, just wanted to say that I am choosing to believe The Pres is truly OUR Pres. Somehow it has a special air about it. If it isn't Clay then it has to be someone who has studied him intensely. The diction, the well placed markings, the things Clay would say, all presented with care and with his gentlemanly touch, just won me over. Clay, if this was you thank you for taking the time to acknowledge us and if this was some mystery person, I thank you as well, cause somebody out there knows what we wanta hear!!! ~from Sandra

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And then... To top it all off, we have Mr. President (and I ain't talk'n George) visit our humble abode. (I DO BELIEVE, I DO BELIEVE... I DO, I DO, I DO BELIEVE)

Well flip me over & call me done! I'm so happy my tassels are spinning! I don't even feel the need to do the Happy Dance! Ok... I'll do it just for fun... ya'll wait right here... ~from Robin

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Hope you all had a great V-Day. And uh, Mr. Pres - don't lose the EF. And if that was NOT your intent - just what did you THINK you were doing, sweetie? ~from Filly Sue

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Oh, and I forgot to say, I also thought Karen eh? looked fabulous in that dress whilst singing to Mr Prez yesterday. How fitting that President's Day quickly follows Valentine's day! Makes this seem like such a broadly holiday weekend.



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Finally, thanks to a pointer fro Lisa... "starts with a 'C' and ends with a 'lay' "... with a creative hand fro Robin on that lovely MP, not to mention a post from Our President (I for one, hailing from the state of Delusion, firmly believe it was Clay himself who graced our pages. The period may fall in or out, but the ellipsis comes in threes; that's something communicator extraordinaire OMC would know.) I had multiple reasons to love LBCa this Valentine's Day! ~from Pats

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My comments on Clay actually writing here on the PP's. If you recall the advertisement for Memorex, was it Live, or Memorex, you cannot tell the difference. So either way I am very happy to believe he wrote to us. Clay come back here soon! ~from Pejay

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Wendy (and the rest of us grammar queens) you're right, of course, about the period always coming inside the quotes, but I submit that our darling Mr. President probably did that on purpose - much as the weavers of those authentic hand-woven carpets always insert one flaw into the design on purpose - as a sign that they know only God is perfect. That would be so like our Studmuffin, wouldn't it? ~from Anonymous

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~from jannet
; )