MIDLAND COUNTY (WJRT) -- (01/02/08)--Three banks in three weeks. That's how many times police say a Midland County woman robbed local financial institutions...
JamTrac found it first and brought us this...
Ok, people. I peed out loud, I busted a gut, I BWAHed.
We've had a string of bank robberies around here (Mid-Michigan), by an unarmed woman passing notes about bombs. They finally caught her yesterday and today there's a picture on the front page of the paper of her. Are you ready for this?
My first reaction was OMG... No!... Clay's fans don't need any further press. And I stuck to my guns all night! Even posted that I thought Clay would be absolutely mortified if he were to see this (which he will) even though I continued laughing quietly to myself at all of the responses this story elicited.
Then, in spite of myself, in the middle of the night I woke up with THIS thought...
How IRONIC it is that Clay gets dragged through the muck for even the simplest... most insignificant of 'crimes' and then, while having probably one of the most stressful afternoons ever, rehearsing his new show and all and being absolutely clueless... THIS happens. And he wasn't even THERE! But 'somehow' he still WAS.
And I finally peed out loud... right there in the middle of the night. oops.
Can't wait to see the lemonade he makes out of this one! Even though he's got some pretty full pitchers to compete with...
Miscellaneous posts from the refreshment stand...
Ya think she was trying to raise money for the "Dinner with Clay" auction?
That is hysterical!!! So....does she look like anyone we know?
Bless her heart. I wonder if she tried the "kidney on ebay" thingy first.
And, they think we're not a diverse fandom...
I don't think that's the best haircut for her. Doesn't flatter her face at all.
Has the whole world gone mad!?
she wasn't texting anyone was she?
Please, please, please, no one show that to my husband! I may never get to party with you people again!
eta: She was upset and hiding from the cameras, too. What a cruel irony that the shirt she wore today is going to broaden the publicity for her case beyond her hometown to the entire Clay Nation.
I wonder if she'll try to Clayvert the other jailbirds?
Ya think when they took her mug shot she said, "NO FLASHES PLEASE"
Soooo will she get booked to appear on Martha's show? They have at least two con.nec.tions.
I imagine Johnnie Cochran is texting from heaven:
"In the pricy front row she must sit, so you jurors have got to acquit!"
Alas the poor Michigander
A librarian , we must understand 'er
She's robbing for Clay
"He" texts her each day
"Clay-shirted" she sits in the slammer!
Good Baby Brush:
The article next to the video says "Midland police said they know what motivated the woman to rob three banks, but won’t comment."
Wouldn't it be a hoot if... nah *g*
Yep, Clay's new castmates are going to get a quick introduction to his crazy... er, enthusiastic... fans.
Wait 'til the prison matron gets a load of her Clay Aiken thong.....
I'm guessing Jerome's "List" just got a little longer.
Gosh, it was nice to see Clay on primetime TV. He looked GOOD.
Right now I am really hoping this woman did not send any of her loot to BAF or UNICEF. That would make the news.
I checked all the registered members from Michican on the OFC. The only one from that town is, as she said, Jam Trac. Maybe the alleged bank robber stole the shirt? *g*
Time for another M&C - Meet & Convict.
*runs to check the names on the Michigan fan board and see if any members are suddenly MIA*
According to ET Canada, her accomplice made it to Canada in an attempt to escape, but those Mounties always get their man!
How do you get dressed for a bank robbery anyway? Do you just get up and say, hmmmm, let's see, First Union robbery, hmm....let me wear Clay Aiken! At least put Ruben's shirt on...less recognizable.
Kimmel has always teased Clay that his fans would "kill" for him....maybe now Kimmel will tease Clay that his fans will "rob" for him, too. I wonder if there is a way to watch clack in prison?
Not that I am in the business anymore (Corrections, not bank robbing) but I wonder if I would have been able to keep a straight face if I had to book this lady. I know I would have gotten grief anyway because some of my co-workers knew of my obsess, er, fondness for Clay. I can just imagine asking her if she had any stressers in her life lately and her answering that she was outbid on stub hub tickets *g*
This now gives an entirely new meaning to "cellcert"…
WinkyDink: faux blog
Great Krispy Kremes, people!
Now, I realize that the prospect of watching me masticate is SOOOO enticing to some of y’all that payin’ $5000 for the chance is a sore temptation, but….
As my Mama used to write with her red Sharpie on my lunch-bag: “Thou shalt not steal.” (She usually wrote that when I PRAYED for someone to swipe it! HAHA!)
And it’s not that I’m unhappy with the free publicity (because at least I know my Official Tour T-Shirt has my name spelled correctly!); it’s just that I prefer my PR not to include a major felony charge! I do wonder why this cra…enthusiastic fan didn’t wear a more recent T-shirt, though (available at www.clayonline.com)? [Memo to Mary: E-mail the jail with this info. Thanx!
That was probably the only Clay Aiken tee shirt in the booking cell... okay, I think I can definitely say that it was the only Clay Aiken tee shirt in the booking cell. I do wish she'd had on one of the more recent shirts. Maybe a family member could bring a shirt from a more recent tour for an upcoming court appearance? Does anyone in Michigan have one to donate?
This woman is in a world of hurt...I hate to laugh. But I just can’t help it. Ironically, she is the perfect demographic. S'ok. Her "bad" paints the fandom in a ....different light. A total WTF. I like that.
Well, Clay DOES need some street cred. So there ya go.
So I guess I need to go back and rewatch the tape, but is it clear whether or not she was actually wearing the shirt during one of the robberies, or just when she was arrested? Like it matters, somehow. *g*
Sadly there were surveillance cameras at each scene.
She'll have no choice but to plead "no clontest".
CLAY AND KIMMEL: YOU CAN BANK ON IT
(Kimmel’s iPhone rings. He squints at the display, grins and answers.)
Kimmel: Hey, Svengali!
Clay: Oh, geez...
Kimmel: I see now you’ve got the Claymates robbing BANKS for you. Nice work! Well, I guess it was inevitable, though...buy seven CDs, contribute to your charities...rob banks. A logical progression, really. What’s next? Stage a coup and overthrow the government? Broker a peace deal in the Middle East? Track down Osama bin Laden?
Clay (major eyeroll): Oh, fer cryin’ out loud.
Kimmel: Well, you really should be using your power for good, y’know. So, tell me your secret...is this some kind of Vulcan mind meld or something?
Clay (indignantly): Hey, jest becoss the wacko was wearin’ one o’ mah tour shirts in court--
Kimmel: Hey, nothing like free advertising, right? Too bad the handcuffs were covering your face. While you were sending your super-secret subliminal messages, you might’ve told her not to obscure your identity.
Clay (sourly): Ah’m jest as glad she did! And anyway, it was an OLD tee-shirt.
Kimmel: Well...I think the whole thing’s a hoot. Maybe you should start thinking about a line of signature prison garb. Lots of room for your name on those orange jumpsuits.
I feel badly for that bank robber and her family. Really, I do. So how come I can't help laughing?
I guess that old tee-shirt really did bother him. There's a new item up on Clique.
I was thinking about this bank robber this a.m. and put together a little Faux Skit of my own.
Scroll at will but here it is.
Why do I have this sneaking suspicion that the whole Clay Nation is going to be on trial?
I can see this woman on the witness stand now.
Prosecutor: Can you tell us why you think it’s possible that a woman such as yourself would resort to bank robbery?
Clobber: I didn’t rob any banks but if I did it would not be my fault.
P – Explain that for the ladies and gentlemen of the jury.
Clobber – It’s those Claymates.
P - Claymates????
Clobber – (Pointing to her Clay Tee Shirt and Rolling her eyes) Fans of Clay Aiken.
P - Oh, I see.
Clobber - You have no idea the pressure of being a fan of this man. First it’s just buy a cd and you’re good. Then they show videos his concerts, they’re evil I tell you.
P – Because they show video and that’s illegal right?Clobber – (looking at him like he’s the stupidest man she's ever met) No, no, no, because when you see the video, then you know you have to see him live again, and again, and again, and again….
P – So you’re saying you robbed the banks to go to concerts.
Clobber – (again rolling her eyes) No, no, no…..I can afford to go to concerts if that was all there was to it but after you see him live you have this (breaks into sobs) uncontrollable urge to own everything he has his name on. Oh and not just one of everything, you have to own 2.
P – Why 2?
Clobber - I’m not sure but I think it has something to do with Claying it forward.
P – Claying it forward?
Clobber – (Again the eyeroll) Having extra Clay stuff in case someone shows an interest in him, you give them something to increase their interest, preferably a DVD of a live concert performance.
P – So you robbed the banks for merchandise?
Clobber - (Totally in melt down mode) No, no, no…..I can afford the merchandise. It’s the travel, and the new cellphones for good cellcerts (don’t even ask), and the multi media players, and lap tops, and charitable donations, and then there’s Stub Hubs, Golf Outings with a chance to have dinner with him for a minimum bid of only $5,000.00, Spamalot , and a new CD coming out, with more touring and……..
P – Ladies and gentlemen I think we should take a break but I have passed out copies of said DVD’s for the female jurors to watch of Mr. Aiken performing.
Clobber leaves the courtroom with a knowing gleam in her eye.
Yet I still feel so bAd for this woman! What made her go off the deep end? She's somebody's daughter. Perhaps somebody's mother. I mean, it could've been any of us!... but I guess not. Not really...
But still so sad!
(No tags... for now.)