How I Spend My Summer Vacations... or "Me and My Four Wheels... In High Gear."

I've attended 23 Clay Aiken concerts.

To some that may seem like a pittance. To others it may seem like... madness. I guess it all depends on your perspective.

There are people a plenty in my life who DON'T get him. I have been asked (at least a time or two) why it is that ALL I ever seem to do anymore is "chase Clay." As if.

I mean, if I knew where he WAS... maybe.

All I know is that I do WHAT I can, WHEN I can... and why? Cause I can't help it. But as for it being ALL I ever do anymore??? I think I'm gonna have to respectfully disagree.

First of all... I awake at 5:30 every morning just to be able to get to work on time. And then work is work. No time for "Clay chasing" there... no siree. But I usually get home right about on schedule, around 6:00 each night. And that's pretty much when all the fun begins...

Because second of all...I have a really, REALLY big yard.

And it has to be mowed...

Now... somewhere along the line somebody got some crazy idea that "mowing my lawn" meant something else entirely. I have no idea why. Perhaps it's because every time I've ever said "OMG... I love him!.. He's so pretty!.. And hot!.." I always followed it with a "Ooops, gotta go mow my lawn now..."

Hang in there for just another minute and it'll all make sense.

At first glance my lawn, though it does go on and on, may not appear to be excessively expansive. I talk to others who have to "mow their lawns" too and they all seem to take it in stride like it's just another "chore." Like "doing the dishes" or something.

So let me put it in perspective...

I know! You can't hardly see it, can you!!?

Here's my lawnmowing schedule:

• Monday Night: Mow the back acreage cr*p, which may look pretty from here but trust me it's not!... after opting to have TruGreen stop at the tramp to save dough. Plus, if it rained over the weekend?... just ick.

• Tuesday Night: Drag the tramp south over the part I just mowed to get it out of the way and then crisscross north... right down to the edge of the pit/picnic table/willow. This part of my yard is "mole heaven" and it's just tons of fun in the heat of July.

• Wednesday Night: I save this one for hump day because that's the only thing that gets me through it cause it's a ding-dang obstacle course!

• Thursday Night: Edge, hedge, whack, pull and trim all the stuff that's been growing like a weed since last Thursday.

• Friday Night: Mow the front yard...

• Saturday: Work in the garden, sweep the deck, clean the house, pay the bills, do the laundry, shop for groceries... um, sorry got a little off topic there.

• Sunday: Besides church? Not much of anything thank you very much. This must be the day when I do all that "Clay chasing."

  Anyway thanks for listening. And here's a fun game! Remember all those IQ tests they made us take in school?

  Well try this one on for size...

As:

(A)

(B)

(C)

(D) ALL OF THE ABOVE.

The correct answer is (B) of course. But if you chose (A) (C) or (D) I'll give it to you anyway... heh.